Holiday hangover

Ouch. Tough weekend in the basement. A lot of pop pop pop and fizzle sizzle thwarp and boom! I'm sleeping it off on the landing. Thunderstorms expected this week -- that means cloud water and booms and more time in the basement. The natives are chattering away like never before. And the border collie wonders why I prefer February.

Fizzle

It's that time of year again. And I'm missing most of it. Quite unfortunate, too, since it's the border collie's birthday on top of Indepedence Day and all that.



The natives get in the swing of things, but you won't find me out there admiring the stars and stripes.


You see, for some reason many folks like to celebrate the holiday by setting off all sorts of munitions. Some glow, some sizzle, some soar and whistle and others just go pop pop pop pop pop...


So, for the next few days I'll be huddling in the basement. All of this is great fun until someone loses an eye....

Close Encounters of the Squirrel Kind

Them Days

Yes, it's been hot. Everything slowed down, sort of like in the South. Only without the sweet tea. The border collie prefers Gatorade and a lemon. We stayed indoors most of the week watching The Avengers on DVD. I've been keeping watch, but things were pretty quiet. Until this morning, that is. The humidity broke overnight and now it's Canada all over again. I suspected that the natives who've been splayed out on branches much of the week would be out running their traps...



...I was right. And I was right on their heels up the side of this tree. So close I could see their little hind leg muscles quivering. If I had only been wearing my spikes, I would be flossing my teeth with squirrel tail.

Sheriff is back in town

You are up there somewhere, counting your blessings. I was on you and you know it. I saw the white of your rat-like body when I flipped you. I want you to know I let you make it to the tree. I had no choice because one of the housemates was telling me to back off.


I'm back, natives. My white teeth flashing. I'm back. It's going to hit 100 degrees today. I'm as hot as the weather and you'd better not stray far from the nearest tree.

Analog dog days

The border collie wanted to catch the Twins-Cubs game, so we flicked on the TV. Nothing. Well, nothing besides a bunch of confetti. "What the???" the border collie mumbled as he futzed with the rabbit ears. Still nothing. "Check the aerial," he told me.



Well, we shouldn't have been surprised. One of the natives was doing a song and dance up there, chittering like a madman. "Get away from there or I'm coming up," I barked. Behind me, I heard snickering. I'm hearing more of that lately than I'd care to admit.



I wheeled around and caught an earful from Mitch, The Pizza Eating Native. "He's not the problem. You analog guys are outta luck," he mumbled, gnawing slice of pepperoni. "Time to start stealing cable."

Calm before the storm?

It's been quiet. Weird quiet. Too quiet. The natives have been suspiciously absent. Maybe all me hard work has paid off. Maybe this will be a summer of peace.


The border collie shakes his head when I say this. Check out that crew from the power company, he advises as he flips through an Orvis catalogue. Something's up.