Squirrel math

+




=

Someday....

...that low-down squirrel who clipped my nose with a hedge trimmer has to come back down out of that tree. And I'll be waiting for him. Or, ahem, her...

...Bell Tolls, II

Like I said, I have an explanation. The summer was hot. Other varmints popped up. A chipmunk turned the front garden into his own 18 hole golf course. (Not my fault! I'm barred from going in the garden. How can I defend territory I can't patrol??!??!)
One day, though, the border collie toddles over and says, "You notice anything strange about the ash tree in the backyard?"



Well, I headed back there are circled the tree a couple of times. I gave it a power sniff up and down the fat stem. Nothing. The border collie, I was beginning to realize, was just having one of his crazy old dog episodes. Clean as a whistle, I snorted when I got back in the house. The border collie looked up from his Real Simple magazine, pushed his reader glasses up his nose, and said, "Just stand back there and listen, MacGyver."

I sighed, trudged back out to the yard and cocked an ear. I heard scurrying. More than usual. Muffled conversation. A radio playing Top 40 music very very softly. It was all coming from overhead. What the???!??! I panned my gaze up the fat stem, real slow, like Peckenpaugh. And. There. It. Was.



A nest.

Filled with squirrels.

On my turf.



Which has something to do with how I got this. Which is a story for next time.

For Whom the Bell Tolls...

OK, I was distracted for much of the summer by those rabbits.
Then there was the occasional cat. Chipmunks started scurrying about.
That explains why I missed it. That explains how it suddenly appeared, right here, on my turf.
A massive, crowded, bustling.....
(To be continued...)

Something, or someone, is digging up the front garden. I'm getting heat for it. So serious is this situation that I've had to do the unthinkable...



...I've hired a local expert who thinks he has a pretty good idea who the culprit is. The border collie can't stop laughing.

A whole new distraction

It's been a while since my last post. Too much going on. A mad boxer to the north and yet another new nemesis: rabbits and chipmunks. But that's nothing. These days, there's competition on the yard security front. A very arrogant competitor and an arch enemy. I spend a lot of time keep this nemesis under surveillence...



...and, I'm annoyed to report, vice versa....