Rough start

It's not going well with the new neighbor. She jumped us. Yes, she. And, yes, she jumped us on Day One.
Oh, there was a fence in the way, but she made her intentions very clear. We were returning from surveillance in the park when this flash of brown fur and white teeth headed our direction. "Whoa!" yelled Boscoe, "It's Cujo in a dress!"
She's a tall drink of water, that's for sure. She probably should be wearing a saddle.
We responded with our best mad dog imitations, barking and snarling and bouncing around like a hyena on Red Bull. We may not have been as impressive as I'd hoped: I heard the natives snickering from their nests.

Anyway, no welcome wagon for this new neighbor. Instead, we've ordered a few things from the Sears catalogue: an electric fence, with the optional Christmas lights; and a speed bag. I admit I'm a little out of shape. Tomorrow, a glass of raw eggs and some road work...

New neighbor coming

Not that anybody would tell me directly -- I'm just supposed to stumble across this one day, I guess -- but we have new neighbors coming next week. The house next door has been empty for a while. The backyard has become popular with the natives and their various floppy eared guests.
All that ends next week. The border collie sneaked a peak at the housemate email and learned that the new inhabitants will include a boxer.
No, not that kind of boxer.



This kind of boxer. Well, needless to say this doesn't make me very happy. I've heard all about how pushy those self-important boxers can be. Swaggering around like they own the place... My fur is up... Bring it!

Tough one

So, one of the housemates spends a surprising amount of time following a football team that doesn't win many games. We just sort of keep our distance. He posts a flag in the back 40 every Saturday and glumly retrieves it the next day, mumbling something about how he needs a better hobby.


The South Dakota State Jackrabbit

Saturday, the game was more distracting for me than usual. I couldn't get the mascots out of my mind.... I'm not sure why....


The Minnesota Gopher

...the whole thing made me very hungry....

Aftermath

After a rowdy Sunday, it was very quiet around here Monday. Too quiet. The border collie suggested the natives were exhausted from their winter prep. I wasn't convinced. I took a stroll around the front 40 and found this guy, clueless to the world, mumbling something about somebody named Favre. Turns out the natives are rabid Packer fans. That shouldn't come as much of a surprise. The border collie and me, we're neutral. Been that way since that trip to the vet when we were puppies...

8

Wow. I feel this one. I'm 8 this week. We don't know actually what day. All I remember is a pair of speckled legs. Didn't get a lot of time with my momma dog or my brothers and sisters. I had a tough start. It's better now, but I still get blue now and then. On top of that, it's gray and rainy. The border collie pretended not to know what was up, but he's been busy...



...this morning I found this cake under the kitchen table. We're keeping it quiet until the house mates leave. The border collie's on a restricted diet. Maybe I'll leave a couple pieces for the natives. You gotta stick together when it's gray and rainy.

How cold is it?

Something happened way up in the sky and it got cold. And it snowed. The snow is sticking around.



It's very early for all this. The border collie spotted splotches in the yard and dispatched me to investigate. I thought they were socks, but turns out to be dozens of miniature snowmobile suits. Must be the natives. Unlike the geese and ducks who taunt us on their way south, the natives are stuck here with us all winter. At least someone is prepared...

The World According to Hal

This is all I knew about coyotes when I got the call from Hal, who offered up some expert advice on dealing with our latest nemesis -- moles. Little did I know there was more to the coyote than a series of unfortunate mishaps...

Hal met us at the bus -- yes, a Greyhound bus. The border collie brought a satchel of Economist magazines and jars of salted almonds. "You guys are the muscle; I'm the looks. And the brains." Hal shrugged him off and took me out in the field.


Well, I'll spare you the details. Not pretty. There was snarling and screaming and blood and knock knock jokes. I could stomach the blood, but not the knock knock jokes. Anyway, after taking in all of Hal's useful insights and tips, I realized his aggressive approach wasn't for us. Too messy.
So....We've deviced to take the advice of our Canadian friends and try some chewing gum. Only we're going for bubble gum. We're thinking the moles will get carried away, blow bubbles and trap themselves out of sight. That's as good as out of mind. We'd rather everybody go their separate ways.
Call us softies.

Hal had a different word.
I won't repeat it here.