Close Encounters of the Squirrel Kind

Them Days

Yes, it's been hot. Everything slowed down, sort of like in the South. Only without the sweet tea. The border collie prefers Gatorade and a lemon. We stayed indoors most of the week watching The Avengers on DVD. I've been keeping watch, but things were pretty quiet. Until this morning, that is. The humidity broke overnight and now it's Canada all over again. I suspected that the natives who've been splayed out on branches much of the week would be out running their traps...



...I was right. And I was right on their heels up the side of this tree. So close I could see their little hind leg muscles quivering. If I had only been wearing my spikes, I would be flossing my teeth with squirrel tail.

Sheriff is back in town

You are up there somewhere, counting your blessings. I was on you and you know it. I saw the white of your rat-like body when I flipped you. I want you to know I let you make it to the tree. I had no choice because one of the housemates was telling me to back off.


I'm back, natives. My white teeth flashing. I'm back. It's going to hit 100 degrees today. I'm as hot as the weather and you'd better not stray far from the nearest tree.

Analog dog days

The border collie wanted to catch the Twins-Cubs game, so we flicked on the TV. Nothing. Well, nothing besides a bunch of confetti. "What the???" the border collie mumbled as he futzed with the rabbit ears. Still nothing. "Check the aerial," he told me.



Well, we shouldn't have been surprised. One of the natives was doing a song and dance up there, chittering like a madman. "Get away from there or I'm coming up," I barked. Behind me, I heard snickering. I'm hearing more of that lately than I'd care to admit.



I wheeled around and caught an earful from Mitch, The Pizza Eating Native. "He's not the problem. You analog guys are outta luck," he mumbled, gnawing slice of pepperoni. "Time to start stealing cable."

Calm before the storm?

It's been quiet. Weird quiet. Too quiet. The natives have been suspiciously absent. Maybe all me hard work has paid off. Maybe this will be a summer of peace.


The border collie shakes his head when I say this. Check out that crew from the power company, he advises as he flips through an Orvis catalogue. Something's up.