Tuesday, October 6, 2009

The World According to Hal

This is all I knew about coyotes when I got the call from Hal, who offered up some expert advice on dealing with our latest nemesis -- moles. Little did I know there was more to the coyote than a series of unfortunate mishaps...

Hal met us at the bus -- yes, a Greyhound bus. The border collie brought a satchel of Economist magazines and jars of salted almonds. "You guys are the muscle; I'm the looks. And the brains." Hal shrugged him off and took me out in the field.

Well, I'll spare you the details. Not pretty. There was snarling and screaming and blood and knock knock jokes. I could stomach the blood, but not the knock knock jokes. Anyway, after taking in all of Hal's useful insights and tips, I realized his aggressive approach wasn't for us. Too messy.
So....We've deviced to take the advice of our Canadian friends and try some chewing gum. Only we're going for bubble gum. We're thinking the moles will get carried away, blow bubbles and trap themselves out of sight. That's as good as out of mind. We'd rather everybody go their separate ways.
Call us softies.

Hal had a different word.
I won't repeat it here.


  1. "Knock, knock. Who's there? Mexican. Mexican who? Mexican mole." Well Riley T, if bad knock knock jokes and violence was all Hal could come up with, you're right to go with the Canadian solution. Bubble gum stoppers for now and then that MN winter will freeze them in their tunnels for a few months. Have you signed up for your unemployment checks yet?

  2. hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....